Happy new year reader, well I was not writing for a while because to be honest I was intimidated out of blogging and was encouraged to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself and make my blog more private, which really took the enjoyment out of it all. I was afraid to even attempt writing again because it was now under a microscope and I was being put on a tight leash. WHAT!? Seriously?
I was a volunteer at our church and was happily enjoying getting involved in the Women's Ministry and a Sunday school teacher. Well with that came all kinds of new rules and insights to the inner workings of the political side of church and what I was learning and witness to had my skin crawling and red flags were flying all over the place. My Spirit has since been uneasy and things have been taking place that have had my head spinning. My husband and I recently had a conversation with a couple who we hold on very high regard, we hold them as our mentors, anyways the conversation was very insightful. Before our conversation I thought everything between me and my decision to remove myself from the Word Of Life bubble was based only on the spiritual battle that was going on. After our conversation though I realized that I might be held captive by individual relationship issues. I know now that some of our conflicts are indeed with individuals and there needs to be healing with those people eventually...eventually, but right now, now that I have recognized that my problems are with some select people I also need to re examine WHY those conflicts are there and what is the bigger picture and where do I fit back in? I need to check where the roots of those problems started and what can I do about them.
My heart aches for reconciliation with some individuals, with my church, with my Leadership Team, with my spiritual being. I do not want to be clouded though. I do not want to blind to the warfare going on in desperate hopes of that reconciliation. I can see that happening if I am not careful. So I take this time to heal, recognize my hurts, forgive, move forward, Let Go and Let God work on all I cannot control.
Yeah this is 2012 and it is a new year and I am going to focus on bettering my growth to be closer to Jesus. It's a new year and I am going to dig deeper into the word to grow closer to God. Unleash his Holy healing mercies on my broken heart. Oh and I am back on the blogger radar because I am free to do so. Thanks for reading this silly little blog reader. Later :)
