enjoy
Halloween or Hallo~weenie...
Well I really LOVED this blog by Steve Bell in fact I am sharing the link for it on my Facebook...then I was reading all the comments.....WOW some are very opinionated on this subject. So I got to thinking about what I think about Halloween....Here is where I am coming from. Growing up it was always one of my favorite times of year, when I was a kid it was like what I read in this post, Family and friends getting together dressing up and having a good time. MY aunts and Uncles, cousins and even grandparents would try to out do the other in all their costume making efforts and My grandpa even went as a white Tina Turner one year....there were MANY years of GREAT costumes as a kid and I even remember a FANTASIC one of Grover that I wore once around 14 and little kids thought I was the real deal! As I got older I realized all those great costumes worn by family were worn to parties and Bars to win costume contests and here in Manitoba there are socials to honor the event. I sady see young girls competing to look as (putting it nicely) trashy as they can and pictures flood the internet of their Sexy nurse, Sexy vampire, Sexy this and Sexy that, and it makes me sad to see it all. I remember the creativity it would take to make a sinking Titanic costume or the cast of Shrek and when did the wholesomeness of little kids dressing up lose to the sexy in society. I KNOW the origins of Halloween are not light, but we can change it to meeting up with neighbors in your community and having a great night with our Children. I want my kids to have fond memories of dressing up in homemade costumes and walking around town getting treats to last them a few months. I want my kids to look back as adults and say I remember Mom and Dad dressing up with us to go trick or treating as Mario characters. And when they are too old for trick or treating I WILL offer a safe place for them and their friends to come dress up in appropriate costumes to have snacks and play games and have FUN with this time of year that can be just as inocent as when I was little. I dont want my kids to miss out because we are Christians and live sheltered from this day and all its fun, I think it is important to teach your kids to follow what is truth in Jesus and have your fun living as an example while knowing what that truth is. If my kids grow up to love Halloween like I do and chose to have alternative fun compared to bars, social and drunk it up parties then I think we are doing well in the Christian parenting being an example area. I support Halloween on MY terms not the world's. SO we pray for the lost before we go out and we pray for our safety physically and spritually and we head out with our pillowcases in tote and our costumes pinned in place. Happy Halloween to you Reader!!!
enjoy
TRICK~or~TREAT!!!!!!!!!
enjoy
a day at a time!
God is who He says He is....God can do what He says He can do..I AM who God says I am...I can do all things through Christ...Gods word is ALIVE and active in me.
These statements are my pledge of Faith from a bible study I took awhile back and MAN do I love the last one there about Gods word. My Bible is in a bit of rough shape and actually is in need of some good old Duct tape repair...but it IS one of my prized possessions and how God speaks to me through His scripture is AWESOME! I have been seeking His face through some storms Jer and I have been facing lately and He has been speaking VOLUMES back to me.
Today for example. I needed to hear some words of wisdom and was encouraged to read the books of Psalm over the weekend, well today I opened it to Psalm 94 and it spoke to me.I prayed. I opened it again in need of God directing what path we need to take.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not great at referencing the scriptures, I have even used the example: I know it says in the Bible somewhere.... or "I have a point and it says in the Bible, just give me 20 minutes to find it" so when a specific scripture comes to mind because I may have read it once but I go to it and re read it and it is like AH HAAAA...and I KNOW IT is GOD in me...and I was given a scripture Joshua 1:9 it says This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Thank you God....I am currently doing another Bible study right now that has me reading and searching His word and the more I dig in the hungrier I get and I am thankful for all that I have and the freedom I have in being able to have my Bible out on my coffee table free to turn to it when I am in these storms and having it there to reference when I need clarity on a situation it is awesome!! I will continue to live my life going on what the Bible says, it is the ONLY truth that holds water in our lives and NOT on what man says. Man's opinions are great everybody is entitled to their own but if it doesn't go with what God's word says then it will go in one ear and out the other for me. I am willing to listen and hear what you have to say but IF you cannot back what you are saying to me with scripture then what good will it do in my life? I will not use someones twisted version of scripture if it is against what morals and values I have either. Through Gods word I will learn who I am in Him and where I should go and who I can trust. Through His word I will bring glory in my life to My ALMIGHTY Creator! I encourage anyone who is given scripture to reference it yourself and see what it says so you can then make a choice of if it is truth.
I think about this weekend and Saturday's conversation and I want to share what I said to my dear friend. She had tons of questions for me about God, Faith, Reincarnation, and The Bible....tons more but I want to say what I said to her regarding The Bible. She asked how do I know what the Bible says is true and not just written by some guy to say what he wants you to think...
I replied that I just know, The Bible is the oldest book out there and is the most distributed book across the planet in hundreds of languages. It has 66 books inside it written by many different authors. Each book of the Bible was written because God breathed the words into each author and told them what to write. The Bible was also written at different times some hundreds of years apart but reference each others past present and futures. If the books of the Bible were written by just one guy each book would bring glory to themselves as Authors and they DONT! They bring Glory to God, they tell of His power, His mercy, His grace, His miracles, His laws....these books would have been written to bring their own authors glory and reverence but they don't. Look at other books of faith and religion and they bring glory to a man, usually the author. The Bible doesn't.
I think I kind of made a good point and she took it very well, and I know Jeremy and I had a very good time with her and may have had a positive influence on her, she said she thinks she found a church and is excited to bring her boys there and she didn't stop praying since she left and I am SO happy for her and look forward in building an even greater relationship with her.
I have Faith that in studying my Bible and learning more about God through His word, in turn learn more about myself. Continue to pray for me Reader! :) but things are getting easier and we are talking it all a day at a time!
These statements are my pledge of Faith from a bible study I took awhile back and MAN do I love the last one there about Gods word. My Bible is in a bit of rough shape and actually is in need of some good old Duct tape repair...but it IS one of my prized possessions and how God speaks to me through His scripture is AWESOME! I have been seeking His face through some storms Jer and I have been facing lately and He has been speaking VOLUMES back to me.
Today for example. I needed to hear some words of wisdom and was encouraged to read the books of Psalm over the weekend, well today I opened it to Psalm 94 and it spoke to me.I prayed. I opened it again in need of God directing what path we need to take.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not great at referencing the scriptures, I have even used the example: I know it says in the Bible somewhere.... or "I have a point and it says in the Bible, just give me 20 minutes to find it" so when a specific scripture comes to mind because I may have read it once but I go to it and re read it and it is like AH HAAAA...and I KNOW IT is GOD in me...and I was given a scripture Joshua 1:9 it says This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Thank you God....I am currently doing another Bible study right now that has me reading and searching His word and the more I dig in the hungrier I get and I am thankful for all that I have and the freedom I have in being able to have my Bible out on my coffee table free to turn to it when I am in these storms and having it there to reference when I need clarity on a situation it is awesome!! I will continue to live my life going on what the Bible says, it is the ONLY truth that holds water in our lives and NOT on what man says. Man's opinions are great everybody is entitled to their own but if it doesn't go with what God's word says then it will go in one ear and out the other for me. I am willing to listen and hear what you have to say but IF you cannot back what you are saying to me with scripture then what good will it do in my life? I will not use someones twisted version of scripture if it is against what morals and values I have either. Through Gods word I will learn who I am in Him and where I should go and who I can trust. Through His word I will bring glory in my life to My ALMIGHTY Creator! I encourage anyone who is given scripture to reference it yourself and see what it says so you can then make a choice of if it is truth.
I think about this weekend and Saturday's conversation and I want to share what I said to my dear friend. She had tons of questions for me about God, Faith, Reincarnation, and The Bible....tons more but I want to say what I said to her regarding The Bible. She asked how do I know what the Bible says is true and not just written by some guy to say what he wants you to think...
I replied that I just know, The Bible is the oldest book out there and is the most distributed book across the planet in hundreds of languages. It has 66 books inside it written by many different authors. Each book of the Bible was written because God breathed the words into each author and told them what to write. The Bible was also written at different times some hundreds of years apart but reference each others past present and futures. If the books of the Bible were written by just one guy each book would bring glory to themselves as Authors and they DONT! They bring Glory to God, they tell of His power, His mercy, His grace, His miracles, His laws....these books would have been written to bring their own authors glory and reverence but they don't. Look at other books of faith and religion and they bring glory to a man, usually the author. The Bible doesn't.
I think I kind of made a good point and she took it very well, and I know Jeremy and I had a very good time with her and may have had a positive influence on her, she said she thinks she found a church and is excited to bring her boys there and she didn't stop praying since she left and I am SO happy for her and look forward in building an even greater relationship with her.
I have Faith that in studying my Bible and learning more about God through His word, in turn learn more about myself. Continue to pray for me Reader! :) but things are getting easier and we are talking it all a day at a time!
Kind of a mess...
Romans 14
The Weak and the Strong
1 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. 5 One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. 8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.10 You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister[a]? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11 It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’”[b]
12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.
13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.
19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.
22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
YES I ESPECIALLY like the highlighted area....ugggghhhhh well that is all for now, pray for me Reader:) Have a great day.
Dear Kids,
Mom here with some tidbits on life.
Remember...No Matter what you do, where you go or who you become I will ALWAYS love you! I might get angry with something you have done but I still love you. Consequences come with your actions and you should accept them with your head held high and also learn from them. Women are a complicated gender which I imagine no person will EVER figure out. If a woman comes into your life that you have a "fancy" for, treat her with love, honesty, respect and like she is the only thing that matters to you in this world. Don't hurt her just in spite. You are equals in life and NO woman is too good for you and you are no better than any. There will be many not suitable for you and visa versa but that's it you are still equals. God has chosen the perfect woman for you so chose wisely who you marry, imagine you you missed the one God had picked for you and you married the wrong woman, imagine how hard that marriage will be, how difficult it would be because you are fighting God's will for your life?!
Never stop dreaming, Don't ever grow up, don't give up hope and always keep smiling even at the worst of times. Take time to remember the good times and always embrace the bad. Smile at everyone crossing your path because smiles are contagious and everyone needs a lift sometimes. Try not to use the word "hate" it is such a strong word and usually used too loosely and not usually meant to be said.
ALWAYS walk around with your head held high, even if it's faked, no one else will know the difference. Have pride in everything you do and the outcome will always show it.
Remember the ones who love you, remember the ones who you love and do not surround yourself with ones who dwell on the negative they'll only bring you down. ALWAYS remember who you are and where you come from. Don't change for anyone but yourself and even if you do change, remember your roots and they will never change so you will always be able to return.
Laugh at the stupid things, don't cry over the petty, don't build up anger it is not good for the soul. Try not to yell in front of children they are too innocent to be exposed to that kind of pain and they will learn enough cruelty from this world in enough time, they just need to be kids.
Don't let your friends influence you make your own choices in life. whether good or bad they are your own choices and they make you who you are, you are only human and allowed to make mistakes and you will suffer the consequences. Take risks! That is what life is all about, you risk getting out of bed each day so why not push yourself to your own limits safely. Why live vicariously through other people's lives and stories, create your own for others to wish for.
Money isn't everything unless you make it that way and material things take over. Value life not valuables. Store your riches in Heaven not on earth.
If you don't play the lottery don't say"I wish I could win the lottery" Rules are you can't win if you don't play, life is like that is all I am saying, don't actually play the lottery! Life is too short live each day to the fullest. Don't expect other's to do for you when you don't do for others, also don't expect other to do for you what you can do yourself! If you go around saying life sucks, this sucks, I suck then Life WILL suck,It WILL suck, you WILL suck. BUT if you go around saying life's great, this is great, I am great, than Life IS great, It IS great, YOU ARE great!! I will Love you forever and ever no matter what till the ends of the Earth and back!!!
Love
Mom.
Remember...No Matter what you do, where you go or who you become I will ALWAYS love you! I might get angry with something you have done but I still love you. Consequences come with your actions and you should accept them with your head held high and also learn from them. Women are a complicated gender which I imagine no person will EVER figure out. If a woman comes into your life that you have a "fancy" for, treat her with love, honesty, respect and like she is the only thing that matters to you in this world. Don't hurt her just in spite. You are equals in life and NO woman is too good for you and you are no better than any. There will be many not suitable for you and visa versa but that's it you are still equals. God has chosen the perfect woman for you so chose wisely who you marry, imagine you you missed the one God had picked for you and you married the wrong woman, imagine how hard that marriage will be, how difficult it would be because you are fighting God's will for your life?!
Never stop dreaming, Don't ever grow up, don't give up hope and always keep smiling even at the worst of times. Take time to remember the good times and always embrace the bad. Smile at everyone crossing your path because smiles are contagious and everyone needs a lift sometimes. Try not to use the word "hate" it is such a strong word and usually used too loosely and not usually meant to be said.
ALWAYS walk around with your head held high, even if it's faked, no one else will know the difference. Have pride in everything you do and the outcome will always show it.
Remember the ones who love you, remember the ones who you love and do not surround yourself with ones who dwell on the negative they'll only bring you down. ALWAYS remember who you are and where you come from. Don't change for anyone but yourself and even if you do change, remember your roots and they will never change so you will always be able to return.
Laugh at the stupid things, don't cry over the petty, don't build up anger it is not good for the soul. Try not to yell in front of children they are too innocent to be exposed to that kind of pain and they will learn enough cruelty from this world in enough time, they just need to be kids.
Don't let your friends influence you make your own choices in life. whether good or bad they are your own choices and they make you who you are, you are only human and allowed to make mistakes and you will suffer the consequences. Take risks! That is what life is all about, you risk getting out of bed each day so why not push yourself to your own limits safely. Why live vicariously through other people's lives and stories, create your own for others to wish for.
Money isn't everything unless you make it that way and material things take over. Value life not valuables. Store your riches in Heaven not on earth.
If you don't play the lottery don't say"I wish I could win the lottery" Rules are you can't win if you don't play, life is like that is all I am saying, don't actually play the lottery! Life is too short live each day to the fullest. Don't expect other's to do for you when you don't do for others, also don't expect other to do for you what you can do yourself! If you go around saying life sucks, this sucks, I suck then Life WILL suck,It WILL suck, you WILL suck. BUT if you go around saying life's great, this is great, I am great, than Life IS great, It IS great, YOU ARE great!! I will Love you forever and ever no matter what till the ends of the Earth and back!!!
Love
Mom.
A Soldier....you bet I am!!!!
Geeze got home made Borscht for tomorrow, letting it simmer now and then felt the panic to pray did that for a bit, went on Facebook and realized it was for a reason.
This summer had been a bit rough for me and my husband. We have had our struggles with family, friends, finances, following God's lead, our faith....allot of F words I know! But as of recently I have been comforted in most things on that list.
Family...mostly has been on the up slope I think there are hurts that are healing and forgiveness where it needs to be, although some are still not on the good in some situations and others are completely written off in my books that I still love and pray for but do not really care to see. I know they are lost and need my prayer and I forgive them their trespasses BUT I do not need to have them in my life to "feel complete". I have also had some major events take place in the lives of some of our family members that have been very good and light, but some very dark and scary and we are dealing with each thing as it surfaces.
Our Friends, well they have come into the light, I thought for a bit that I was not really uhm...??valued?? as a friend to some and it has come to my realization that it was Satan having a party with my insecurities. I also realize that due to my own insecurities kicked into high gear I was not being a good friend to some as well, I did not reach out to some who were suffering in their own battles and I feel horrible for not seeing passed my own garbage and not seeing those who were hurting. I do want to be better at seeing that when I need to...God please help me with that!!
Our Finances, well that is tough, because things are okay right now, but they are so tight and sometimes I don't feel like I am contributing anything and it seems harder on my husband some weeks more than others to keep us going. We always make it through the cracks with a tight squeeze but there are usually scrapes and bruises from the trip so to speak.
Following God's lead...or our Faith....well this summer we have missed allot of church and have felt disconnected from everything. We took a step back and as hard as it was once we started preparing for the new kick off of serving in youth (a passion Jer and I both have) this upcoming year, things just did not feel right to us. Both of us were struggling to even tell each other what we were thinking because we LOVE the kids we served and we both had mixed feelings about doing it again yet couldn't actually quit. I had realized the first PUSH night we went to that for sure this was not where God wanted us to be and as hard as it was we had to walk away with a clean break, yet I still stay in the Facebook group...??... I just have not actually had the conversation with the new youth pastor that I know I need to. I am waiting on God's timing for that and I KNOW it is coming.
My Faith though is getting all fired up again, I feel it deep within me, a few weeks ago I said out loud that I felt kind of numb to joy or happiness, NOT depressed just lacking somethings that used to bring that extra bliss to my world, and this summer of disconnection was not helping. I attended a meeting for the Women's Ministry I am serving in this year and before I went I prayed that God would change something in me, and make things new again. Well he did, after leaving that meeting I was all pumped up for no particular reason felt really excited for all that this year will bring me and the women we touch. Then I read about counting all He has blessed me with and I got all sappy and felt that sincere JOY again, then the more I pray to open my heart and change how I seen things the easier it is getting again to hear God's calling me; to do things in HIS time and according to His will.
For example tonight after making this soup...and the panic I had to just sit on my couch and start praying, I had no idea what for but just prayed and prayed and cried and thought "are you kidding me God??!!! Seriously? I am crying??!! WHAT for!!?" I went to the bathroom to calm myself and wash my face. and sat down at the computer....WOW....it was needed!!!BIG TIME! an it may not be much to some but MAN God is so powerful and I feel like somebody put some kind of redbull in my pepsi and I feel HIS almighty power through my simple words and tears and I pray it makes a difference!When you think you are a minor blip on Christ's radar and then you have a mind blowing experience that affirms that you are a part of something greater, you are a part of His army, I tell you this; there is nothing like that power running through you!!!
...
I feel
...
...
like a SOLDIER!!!!
I liked how a few bloggers have included verses and I think it is a GREAT idea! Consider it copied! I especially thought a few might suit this entry! thanks and good night my reader!
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Psalm 61:1-4
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:10-12
and finally...
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Happy Anniversary
8 Years ago today I married my friend. Granted between then and now we were not always so kind to each other. Then on this day in 2009 I renewed my vows with that same man, only we decided to put Christ in the center of our marriage. Today I was reflecting on our entire relationship over 11 years and looking at the pictures that capture moments in time so long ago and I look at what we have grown in to and I love every bit of it. The good of course because it was fun and good and makes me smile. The bad because although it may be ugly and sad it has made us grow. Finally the worse~er...lol Yes there was worse~er in our life together and it was so painful and so cruel and at times hateful I love it too because we grew stronger through it and I rely on Jeremy 100% now to be there FOR me and I learned how to be truly in love with him and not in lust with him, Our first several years were based on lust rather than love and we fought allot, split up a few times and said SO much trying to break each other. We have done things that cut deep in our relationship and yet we pulled through. After everything Jer and I have been through I DO not Believe ANY marriage needs to end up in divorce, I believe that you can save it NO MATTER the trespasses. We have had almost every one you could think of in ours and Through CHRIST alone did we reconcile. I am so head over heels in love with my husband and can only thank God for that!
I am so happy to have this man in my life who loves me for me, is an amazing father, provides for his family, makes me laugh, holds me when I am afraid, walks with Christ while leading our home. Jer is the one God has chosen to be with me forever and always, my soul mate, my counselor, my confidant, my helper, my spiritual leader, my lover, my best friend. I cannot live without him and don't even try to imagine what I would do if I lost him it breaks my heart even at the thought! I look forward to growing old with him where ever we are if he is there it is home! I can not wait to see what our future holds and what paths God will lead us down. I love you and cherish each day I am blessed to wake up next to you Jeremy Enns!
Highschool...
Why didn't I post this one???LOL oh well here you go!!:)
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO!!!! You are the future make it something beyond greatness!!!:D
I say hold that hard earned diploma with pride and know how blessed you are to have the chance to go to school in freedom of a beautiful country. Make a difference for future generations and look at your life as lessons to have learned either hard or easy it doesn't matter they were all lessons set to teach you something set in place by our Creator! Take a second to breathe before facing the next season of your life. It too will carry many lessons. You may struggle you may stumble, you may just soar to the highest heights of those mountains you will face:)
CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO!!!! You are the future make it something beyond greatness!!!:D
I say hold that hard earned diploma with pride and know how blessed you are to have the chance to go to school in freedom of a beautiful country. Make a difference for future generations and look at your life as lessons to have learned either hard or easy it doesn't matter they were all lessons set to teach you something set in place by our Creator! Take a second to breathe before facing the next season of your life. It too will carry many lessons. You may struggle you may stumble, you may just soar to the highest heights of those mountains you will face:)
time to STOP and listen
How can I stand for one thing and maintain my boundaries in one situation then in another feel guilty into offering resolution and put aside our differences and leave the past out of it. Being faithful to my God and to my own human feelings are totally compromising and painful. Why can't it be easier being a follower of Christ, I pray for it all but struggle to hear the answers...it is time to STOP and listen in silence. Let me be an obedient child.
I have some issues in my life regarding family lately and setting and standing firm with boundaries is becoming very difficult. I have to let go and let God do what he needs to but when I am facing backlash from different people for my actions it leaves me questioning everything. I am struggling to hear God's answers when my own brain is running 1000 miles an hour and going crazy in different directions and I feel I am spinning out of control. STOP and Listen.
God's lessons have been exactly what I needed and when I think I am following God's will in my life and things appear to be falling into place something happens or a fight breaks loose and I am left questioning my path and was it really from Christ? Why let these things taint my blessings? I am human and have insecurities and feelings and they can very easily be brought to the front of my every thought especially by the ones I hold close to me, but why do I allow that?
Lately I have been finding myself regretting the steps I took back in March to better my life and break out of the chains that held me back in becoming the "butterfly" I used to be. I wanted to become a social butterfly like i used to be, bubbly and inviting, spontaneous and adventurous, fun and someone everyone wants to be around, like I used to be and I started to do that by letting go of the things holding me back from that and it felt great. Then other things started to happen and fights led me to regress and regret those progresses...why? why did I let Satan win over those victories I had?
I stopped writing again and stopped blogging because I let Satan win over that too, telling me nobody cares what I have to say or the things I write. STOP and LISTEN!!! Veronica you were writing and blogging for you and God only, anyone else who read it and benefitted AWESOME! anyone who did not like what you had to say too bad who cares!! So here I am taking another stab at something to get me feet back on the right path and for this moment in time while I click away at the keyboard...I give a crap again about ME!
I have some issues in my life regarding family lately and setting and standing firm with boundaries is becoming very difficult. I have to let go and let God do what he needs to but when I am facing backlash from different people for my actions it leaves me questioning everything. I am struggling to hear God's answers when my own brain is running 1000 miles an hour and going crazy in different directions and I feel I am spinning out of control. STOP and Listen.
God's lessons have been exactly what I needed and when I think I am following God's will in my life and things appear to be falling into place something happens or a fight breaks loose and I am left questioning my path and was it really from Christ? Why let these things taint my blessings? I am human and have insecurities and feelings and they can very easily be brought to the front of my every thought especially by the ones I hold close to me, but why do I allow that?
Lately I have been finding myself regretting the steps I took back in March to better my life and break out of the chains that held me back in becoming the "butterfly" I used to be. I wanted to become a social butterfly like i used to be, bubbly and inviting, spontaneous and adventurous, fun and someone everyone wants to be around, like I used to be and I started to do that by letting go of the things holding me back from that and it felt great. Then other things started to happen and fights led me to regress and regret those progresses...why? why did I let Satan win over those victories I had?
I stopped writing again and stopped blogging because I let Satan win over that too, telling me nobody cares what I have to say or the things I write. STOP and LISTEN!!! Veronica you were writing and blogging for you and God only, anyone else who read it and benefitted AWESOME! anyone who did not like what you had to say too bad who cares!! So here I am taking another stab at something to get me feet back on the right path and for this moment in time while I click away at the keyboard...I give a crap again about ME!
Originally Posted on Facebook but I liked it so much thought I'd share here!!
~FunnY StorY~~
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 at 9:46pm
DAY 1~~ So last night in the midst of having an intense conversation with my husband between questions and answers between the two of us i could swear i could hear little noises in the kitchen and noticing these noises didn't phase my hubby we continued with the conversation. a few noises later i noticed my cats attention had been caught by the noises now, and with all our kids being in bed i knew it was not one of them. so now with me and the cat both focusing on the direction of the strange sounds, Jeremy is now curious and claims to hear it too now. so there we are listening and looking into the darkness of our kitchen in the direction of the undercarriage of our fridge...not a pretty sight...(what is all under there??) so now this noise is a bit louder and we decide to investigate. Jer grabs his little key chain light that doesn't even give off too much light. and from the distance of at least a few feet he shines it under the fridge and i and my cat are in there like dirty shirts expecting something with fur come crawling out but nothing and the noise stops. so Jer decides to turn on the light and shake the fridge a little bit, to maybe stir up whats under there, but nothing. so then he pulls a chair over and stands on it while shifting the fridge back and forth slowly inching it outwards. meanwhile both Mufasa our cat) and i are crouched down on the floor myself armed with a broom we are looking under the fridge watching for any kind of movement beyond the apparent collection of toys/papers/mixed nuts/assorted ornaments ( i know..what??) that the fridge has accumulated over the past while. nothing. So now jer has the fridge out a couple of feet and is still up on the chair, and he tells me to get the stuff from behind the fridge and i see magnets and dust and fluff and something sticky but no fur yet i still dont want to do this task, and he says wait i will pull out the stove too. so he does and me still armed with the broom have my eyes shifting in every direction hoping not to spot this critter that can chew so loudly. still nothing. so gladly i tell jer to get behind there and sweep it out i will clean it out where i am. Once all was swept up and mopped up, and pushed back into place we sighed at our done deeds and headed off to bed.
Day 2~~ Today was a day like every other, i am feeling better from my death defying illness...ok not really just strepp throat. anyways mouse was all i could think of. Tristan had an eye appointment at 10 and the two older boys had dentist appointments in the afternoon. so between the appointments our time spent at home i became Mouse Hunter. I stopped at our local grocer and purchashed top of the line, ultimate, mouse killing machines...Made by woodstream corp. none other than the almighty Victor mouse trap, ok so not so top of the line but they work. so i bought four. and once home got down to business setting the traps. So i could remember setting these things up with my Grandpa when i was younger and thought AHHH No problem piece of cake, i can do it. well turns out these bad boys are much more sensitive then i recalled. my first attempt resulted in a loud SNAP and instant tear jerking pain in a sensitive area bellow the neck and above the belly...yeah...I KNOW!!! Thankfully thick sweater caught MOST of it but not quite all! so i screamed and sat on the floor holding myself and gathered the victor, now that i am on the floor i have got the attention of my nosy cat so my second attempt goes as follows: 1.pull back squared bar on spring aiming AWAY from body. 2.while holding down spring bar try to stick the long hold down bar thingy into crooked hole on what i now know as bait holder(but why is it so hard to get the stick into the hole and why is it crooked?).3.SNAP...ooooo....ahhhh ouch...my poor little flat fat thumb....oh man that thing is quick.!!!! ok Victor i will take a longer look and figure you out...Attempt three...now i think i have it now...1.pull squared spring bar back aiming away from body. 2. while holding down spring bar flip long hold down bar thingy which actually attaches to the bait holder and does not go into hole. (genius how else would it be set off)ok soo sensitive...3. now place carefully in strategically thought out place where little critter would return. ahhh shoot....NO BAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!ok set off trap and bait with....yummm peanut butter...i think i want some too now that i think of it.....ok now put the P.B. on and reset stupid Victor...there now place in strategic places and wait for...the Snap.
Later that night~~~ SNAP......WAS THAT??? Oh my goodness it was!!! ok check the three traps set up first one clear, second clear, third...R.I.P. fuzz ball.
Victor and I well you see we have a new found respect for one another. Victor taught me how to use him and i taught him...uhm nothing its wood.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 at 9:46pm
DAY 1~~ So last night in the midst of having an intense conversation with my husband between questions and answers between the two of us i could swear i could hear little noises in the kitchen and noticing these noises didn't phase my hubby we continued with the conversation. a few noises later i noticed my cats attention had been caught by the noises now, and with all our kids being in bed i knew it was not one of them. so now with me and the cat both focusing on the direction of the strange sounds, Jeremy is now curious and claims to hear it too now. so there we are listening and looking into the darkness of our kitchen in the direction of the undercarriage of our fridge...not a pretty sight...(what is all under there??) so now this noise is a bit louder and we decide to investigate. Jer grabs his little key chain light that doesn't even give off too much light. and from the distance of at least a few feet he shines it under the fridge and i and my cat are in there like dirty shirts expecting something with fur come crawling out but nothing and the noise stops. so Jer decides to turn on the light and shake the fridge a little bit, to maybe stir up whats under there, but nothing. so then he pulls a chair over and stands on it while shifting the fridge back and forth slowly inching it outwards. meanwhile both Mufasa our cat) and i are crouched down on the floor myself armed with a broom we are looking under the fridge watching for any kind of movement beyond the apparent collection of toys/papers/mixed nuts/assorted ornaments ( i know..what??) that the fridge has accumulated over the past while. nothing. So now jer has the fridge out a couple of feet and is still up on the chair, and he tells me to get the stuff from behind the fridge and i see magnets and dust and fluff and something sticky but no fur yet i still dont want to do this task, and he says wait i will pull out the stove too. so he does and me still armed with the broom have my eyes shifting in every direction hoping not to spot this critter that can chew so loudly. still nothing. so gladly i tell jer to get behind there and sweep it out i will clean it out where i am. Once all was swept up and mopped up, and pushed back into place we sighed at our done deeds and headed off to bed.
Day 2~~ Today was a day like every other, i am feeling better from my death defying illness...ok not really just strepp throat. anyways mouse was all i could think of. Tristan had an eye appointment at 10 and the two older boys had dentist appointments in the afternoon. so between the appointments our time spent at home i became Mouse Hunter. I stopped at our local grocer and purchashed top of the line, ultimate, mouse killing machines...Made by woodstream corp. none other than the almighty Victor mouse trap, ok so not so top of the line but they work. so i bought four. and once home got down to business setting the traps. So i could remember setting these things up with my Grandpa when i was younger and thought AHHH No problem piece of cake, i can do it. well turns out these bad boys are much more sensitive then i recalled. my first attempt resulted in a loud SNAP and instant tear jerking pain in a sensitive area bellow the neck and above the belly...yeah...I KNOW!!! Thankfully thick sweater caught MOST of it but not quite all! so i screamed and sat on the floor holding myself and gathered the victor, now that i am on the floor i have got the attention of my nosy cat so my second attempt goes as follows: 1.pull back squared bar on spring aiming AWAY from body. 2.while holding down spring bar try to stick the long hold down bar thingy into crooked hole on what i now know as bait holder(but why is it so hard to get the stick into the hole and why is it crooked?).3.SNAP...ooooo....ahhhh ouch...my poor little flat fat thumb....oh man that thing is quick.!!!! ok Victor i will take a longer look and figure you out...Attempt three...now i think i have it now...1.pull squared spring bar back aiming away from body. 2. while holding down spring bar flip long hold down bar thingy which actually attaches to the bait holder and does not go into hole. (genius how else would it be set off)ok soo sensitive...3. now place carefully in strategically thought out place where little critter would return. ahhh shoot....NO BAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!ok set off trap and bait with....yummm peanut butter...i think i want some too now that i think of it.....ok now put the P.B. on and reset stupid Victor...there now place in strategic places and wait for...the Snap.
Later that night~~~ SNAP......WAS THAT??? Oh my goodness it was!!! ok check the three traps set up first one clear, second clear, third...R.I.P. fuzz ball.
Victor and I well you see we have a new found respect for one another. Victor taught me how to use him and i taught him...uhm nothing its wood.
and I thank You.......
A crack in the silence and my walls that I built are crashing down around me.
Made of glass made from deceptions and its falling at my feet.
The purity of who I am is standing here exposed in front of You.
I cannot hear what You are calling me now because my internal screams are breaking out of body.
Like a porcelain doll that is aging in seconds my face is cracking and the imperfections are becoming evident.
Who I am, who I was, who I want to be, are all unearthed and begin to make my stomach turn at their stench.
I wanted to keep the mask's I earned hiding the truths I did not want to share.
The things I hide from everyone but You.
The tears trickle down my cracked and frail face at the discovery of how You are changing me.
I want to fight this.
I am not ready.
Don't You know how much this hurts.
My knees are beginning to buckle beneath me and it appears there is nothing left for me to do but crumble.
Against my own instincts of sheltering myself and raising the guards the out pouring of my soul begins.
My sins begin to fade as they are brought into Your lightness and the sobbing becomes uncontrollable.
Everything raw open and exposed I lay here in pure exhaustion from the exorcism of the burdens and the demons that I carried.
You let me rest.
... ... ...
Then You lift me up and walk with me.
I am no longer alone.
I no longer fear.
When I am weak, You give me strength.
I no longer hate what I am, who I am, who I want to be.
You give my life purpose other then living for myself.
You bless me for believing You.
You died for me.
You give me truth.
You are the Light.Divine.Amazing.
Almighty.Beginning.End.
Awesome.Alpha.Omega.
Savior.Salvation.
The One.The Only.The Way.
I want to live as You did.
I want to reach out and tell everyone who it was who gave my spirit this renewal.
It was You.
You Saved Me.
You...
...
You are my
GOD ♥
Made of glass made from deceptions and its falling at my feet.
The purity of who I am is standing here exposed in front of You.
I cannot hear what You are calling me now because my internal screams are breaking out of body.
Like a porcelain doll that is aging in seconds my face is cracking and the imperfections are becoming evident.
Who I am, who I was, who I want to be, are all unearthed and begin to make my stomach turn at their stench.
I wanted to keep the mask's I earned hiding the truths I did not want to share.
The things I hide from everyone but You.
The tears trickle down my cracked and frail face at the discovery of how You are changing me.
I want to fight this.
I am not ready.
Don't You know how much this hurts.
My knees are beginning to buckle beneath me and it appears there is nothing left for me to do but crumble.
Against my own instincts of sheltering myself and raising the guards the out pouring of my soul begins.
My sins begin to fade as they are brought into Your lightness and the sobbing becomes uncontrollable.
Everything raw open and exposed I lay here in pure exhaustion from the exorcism of the burdens and the demons that I carried.
You let me rest.
... ... ...
Then You lift me up and walk with me.
I am no longer alone.
I no longer fear.
When I am weak, You give me strength.
I no longer hate what I am, who I am, who I want to be.
You give my life purpose other then living for myself.
You bless me for believing You.
You died for me.
You give me truth.
You are the Light.Divine.Amazing.
Almighty.Beginning.End.
Awesome.Alpha.Omega.
Savior.Salvation.
The One.The Only.The Way.
I want to live as You did.
I want to reach out and tell everyone who it was who gave my spirit this renewal.
It was You.
You Saved Me.
You...
...
You are my
GOD ♥
Well Happy New Year!
SO it is a new year and things are getting back to normal. We have returned to our regular madness in the mornings trying to peel my kids bodies out of the warmth of their comfy beds to get ready for school. Hubby is back to going up north for work and getting back into the swing of 12 hour days. As for me I am getting used to the torture of the alarm clock buzzing me awake 6:45 every morning and I am so far managing to stay awake the ENTIRE day (I was getting used to napping at 2 everyday before Christmas)and I have recently started shedding pounds in "clutter" in my house, I guess it is called clutter in some people's eyes...I did consider some of these things sentimental until recently for some reason I have detached myself from allot of 'STUFF' so I guess I pat myself on the back for this:)
What else?
From my perspective...that is what I called my blog, I am currently wondering IF that is what I want to stick with and IF not how does one change that? I am not sure how that is relevant to anything but whatever...haha
I hope everyone is doing well and I hope all had a wonderful Christmas. I guess that is where I am going next with this...My Christmas...I had a wonderful time with my husband and his family.Plus we had our very treasured friends join us for that celebration! Our children had great holidays too BUT...we suffered I think. I do not want to get too much into details but I am not getting along with my mother right now. I have very good reasons for not wanting to have much to do with her but over the holidays I TOTALLY was hitting a wall of darkness. I think the Devil was taking advantage of things going on and worked on my weak spots for a stint. I am so thankful that I have the kind of relationship with God right now that I can pray these feelings away but it was not always like that, I would have sunk deeper and deeper into this depressed state of mind that it would infect my life entirely and it would take an incredible shot of medication to escape it. I don't think there is anything wrong with taking meds whatsoever BUT I have a hard time remembering to do this daily and therefore the meds become a waste, so if I can go without then awesome! Anyways we had fun with the family gathering we went to on my side but was sad that my mother did not really put an effort to rectify anything for my children sake. I was disappointed. Then other things happened and I was fighting again for my beliefs and trying to keep a stand for my kids, my faith and myself. The darkness won for a bit over the holidays but not for very long. I remembered what the season was really about and we focused on that as a family and hubby and I tried to keep things pleasurable for our boys! I do have this longing for that side of my family to come together and be loving and supportive, and I miss them greatly ALL the time, I wish they would come to know me as I am now and enjoy me as I am but they are who they are and I cannot change them, I love them all and hope for the best and I can only live for my boys and be an example of Jesus for everyone I encounter in life.
Ok so what else??
My thumb hurts...Yeah a couple of days ago I cut it pretty bad while loading the dishwasher...I really should have gone in to get it stitched or glued but whatever I lived and now today it feels very very bruised and tender, I may have been working with it a bitt too aggressively because it was all dried and appeared scaby but I was washing counters and squeezed the cloth only to realize that scab was not as good as it looked and it broke open a bit to allow some puss to seep out *gross* and *gag* I know!!But as for that...the cut took place Tuesday about 1pm.I spoke to Hubby that night and he kind of got a little...no allot upset about it (which I predicted on facebook) but whatever. The next day I had left the house early in the day with the boys (skipped school) because I was going to a funeral then would be attending youth that night, so we got home far too late to call Hubby and I never got to talk to him until last night...WELL Karma is very real!!Hubby goes on with normal how are things? how are the kids? what is the weather like? other typical conversation topics for us...and not until after talking to each of our kids and preparing to say goodbye does he go on to tell me how Karma got him yesterday when working on cutting some pipe with a brand new saw, when all of a sudden this thing breaks and slams him in the head...what?what exactly hit him I was not sure...he says he was walking down to tell his coworker that it just broke and he should go get a new one when he notices the blood dripping down his face...WHAT!!??!!So they go to the hospital and he gets his head glued shut. He ended up with a tip of this saw snapping off and hitting him in the head near his hairline slicing clean through his toque(which was SOAKED in Blood) and luckily for him it was JUST a gash in the head he says...It could have taken out his eye he says...It did not even hurt he says...It was karma for him getting mad at me for my thumb slicing incident he says...Well I felt sick!!I was thinking this could have been FAR worse!!Of course I had the worst things running through my head like I have seen WAY too MANY movies and I am picturing how this could have taken him right out!! Well aren't we just pair I say!!!My goodness!!!
Well I guess it is time to head off and get some chores done up before the kids get home...I enjoyed this little "venting/update" session and can't wait to get regular with this!!:) Thanks for reading and comments are as always welcome!!:) Later Reader!
What else?
From my perspective...that is what I called my blog, I am currently wondering IF that is what I want to stick with and IF not how does one change that? I am not sure how that is relevant to anything but whatever...haha
I hope everyone is doing well and I hope all had a wonderful Christmas. I guess that is where I am going next with this...My Christmas...I had a wonderful time with my husband and his family.Plus we had our very treasured friends join us for that celebration! Our children had great holidays too BUT...we suffered I think. I do not want to get too much into details but I am not getting along with my mother right now. I have very good reasons for not wanting to have much to do with her but over the holidays I TOTALLY was hitting a wall of darkness. I think the Devil was taking advantage of things going on and worked on my weak spots for a stint. I am so thankful that I have the kind of relationship with God right now that I can pray these feelings away but it was not always like that, I would have sunk deeper and deeper into this depressed state of mind that it would infect my life entirely and it would take an incredible shot of medication to escape it. I don't think there is anything wrong with taking meds whatsoever BUT I have a hard time remembering to do this daily and therefore the meds become a waste, so if I can go without then awesome! Anyways we had fun with the family gathering we went to on my side but was sad that my mother did not really put an effort to rectify anything for my children sake. I was disappointed. Then other things happened and I was fighting again for my beliefs and trying to keep a stand for my kids, my faith and myself. The darkness won for a bit over the holidays but not for very long. I remembered what the season was really about and we focused on that as a family and hubby and I tried to keep things pleasurable for our boys! I do have this longing for that side of my family to come together and be loving and supportive, and I miss them greatly ALL the time, I wish they would come to know me as I am now and enjoy me as I am but they are who they are and I cannot change them, I love them all and hope for the best and I can only live for my boys and be an example of Jesus for everyone I encounter in life.
Ok so what else??
My thumb hurts...Yeah a couple of days ago I cut it pretty bad while loading the dishwasher...I really should have gone in to get it stitched or glued but whatever I lived and now today it feels very very bruised and tender, I may have been working with it a bitt too aggressively because it was all dried and appeared scaby but I was washing counters and squeezed the cloth only to realize that scab was not as good as it looked and it broke open a bit to allow some puss to seep out *gross* and *gag* I know!!But as for that...the cut took place Tuesday about 1pm.I spoke to Hubby that night and he kind of got a little...no allot upset about it (which I predicted on facebook) but whatever. The next day I had left the house early in the day with the boys (skipped school) because I was going to a funeral then would be attending youth that night, so we got home far too late to call Hubby and I never got to talk to him until last night...WELL Karma is very real!!Hubby goes on with normal how are things? how are the kids? what is the weather like? other typical conversation topics for us...and not until after talking to each of our kids and preparing to say goodbye does he go on to tell me how Karma got him yesterday when working on cutting some pipe with a brand new saw, when all of a sudden this thing breaks and slams him in the head...what?what exactly hit him I was not sure...he says he was walking down to tell his coworker that it just broke and he should go get a new one when he notices the blood dripping down his face...WHAT!!??!!So they go to the hospital and he gets his head glued shut. He ended up with a tip of this saw snapping off and hitting him in the head near his hairline slicing clean through his toque(which was SOAKED in Blood) and luckily for him it was JUST a gash in the head he says...It could have taken out his eye he says...It did not even hurt he says...It was karma for him getting mad at me for my thumb slicing incident he says...Well I felt sick!!I was thinking this could have been FAR worse!!Of course I had the worst things running through my head like I have seen WAY too MANY movies and I am picturing how this could have taken him right out!! Well aren't we just pair I say!!!My goodness!!!
Well I guess it is time to head off and get some chores done up before the kids get home...I enjoyed this little "venting/update" session and can't wait to get regular with this!!:) Thanks for reading and comments are as always welcome!!:) Later Reader!
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