How can I stand for one thing and maintain my boundaries in one situation then in another feel guilty into offering resolution and put aside our differences and leave the past out of it. Being faithful to my God and to my own human feelings are totally compromising and painful. Why can't it be easier being a follower of Christ, I pray for it all but struggle to hear the answers...it is time to STOP and listen in silence. Let me be an obedient child.
I have some issues in my life regarding family lately and setting and standing firm with boundaries is becoming very difficult. I have to let go and let God do what he needs to but when I am facing backlash from different people for my actions it leaves me questioning everything. I am struggling to hear God's answers when my own brain is running 1000 miles an hour and going crazy in different directions and I feel I am spinning out of control. STOP and Listen.
God's lessons have been exactly what I needed and when I think I am following God's will in my life and things appear to be falling into place something happens or a fight breaks loose and I am left questioning my path and was it really from Christ? Why let these things taint my blessings? I am human and have insecurities and feelings and they can very easily be brought to the front of my every thought especially by the ones I hold close to me, but why do I allow that?
Lately I have been finding myself regretting the steps I took back in March to better my life and break out of the chains that held me back in becoming the "butterfly" I used to be. I wanted to become a social butterfly like i used to be, bubbly and inviting, spontaneous and adventurous, fun and someone everyone wants to be around, like I used to be and I started to do that by letting go of the things holding me back from that and it felt great. Then other things started to happen and fights led me to regress and regret those progresses...why? why did I let Satan win over those victories I had?
I stopped writing again and stopped blogging because I let Satan win over that too, telling me nobody cares what I have to say or the things I write. STOP and LISTEN!!! Veronica you were writing and blogging for you and God only, anyone else who read it and benefitted AWESOME! anyone who did not like what you had to say too bad who cares!! So here I am taking another stab at something to get me feet back on the right path and for this moment in time while I click away at the keyboard...I give a crap again about ME!
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